We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
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