This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
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Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
my liver is dry heaving
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