If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
