I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
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I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
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I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
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