i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
