I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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