so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
