I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
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