he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
