She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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