oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
COCAINE IS GR8
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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