I'm really into asian looking animals
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
