What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
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