I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Randomize
