guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
