party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Duck Duck Cougar?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize