I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize