How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
you inspire me to be a worse person
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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