She's JV to your varsity
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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