I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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