Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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