living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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