I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
