They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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