Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
