Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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