No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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