Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
