Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
