Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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