I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
