Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Randomize
