I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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