What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
