One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This baby is an asshole
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
