Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize