so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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