That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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