YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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