kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
