I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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