THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I wish I only lived at night.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize
