So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
