In the future we'll all be gay
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
