I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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