went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My balls are so social today.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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