I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
