uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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