The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
