8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
