dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
