If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
