i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize