he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
