Nicole vs. Life
one might say we're banned from that church
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
