so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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