don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
