I'm jealous of your bromance
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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