So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
