I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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