He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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