the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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